So this may sound like the smallest deal for people who don’t have to deal with assertiveness issues or BPD but, this is a huge deal for me. I last wrote about how I was going to use DBT -DEAR MAN to help me ask a colleague to bring my cardigan I lent her back. I was starting to get annoyed and since I fear conflict I was worried about how to approach this. This was also the first time I used DEAR MAN verbally in person as opposed to on emails, phone etc.
So I spoke to my colleague yesterday, she hadn’t brought it. I said my script, but didn’t even really have to finish it as she was apologising and saying she completely forgot and didn’t mean to. I decided to go to the ‘N’ part of the acronym and said ‘would you like me to call you in the morning so you don’t forget?’ she said yes and after stating once more how I would like it back tomorrow, I left.
I rang her this morning and sure enough she had the bag and was offering to drop it off to my building. There was no awkwardness, we spoke as per usual about our days and what we’ve been up to and that was that 🙂 This is an experience I can now keep in my mind and remember for when I next want to use it or feel that I should use it. I am already thinking of using it the next time I get a body comment. I am glad it is showing me that things can be handled normally and in a Non BPD fashion. It just means there are less triggers for me and life is going smoother. At last.