I didn’t realise I’d want to blog so much more than journal! I’m bored. The boredom I feel on a weekend, even though I wait all working week to get to the weekend to do nothing once I’m actually doing nothing I dread it! So here I am, writing again. As I’m alone, the ache of emptiness will eat me if I don’t do something, and yet, I still do nothing.
I’m trying not to dwell on the fact that I had an extra kit kat today, it counts at 208 calories, which I could have done without considering I had 3 bars, so that’s 300. which means I went over my 900 limit today. I went way over it. But I’m trying to ignore that, because, I am NOT thinking about that as much, anymore, not in the same way anyway. I’m trying only to eat healthy. So who cares.
The prozac means I can sit and feel sh** but not hurt myself. Which is a big plus, it feels like less of an *effort* not to act on urges. But I feel terribly lonely, and I don’t see the point in entertaining myself, on my own, almost as if, once I’m alone, I have no hobbies. Just an empty feeling.